Sunday, 4 October 2009

anonymous

Three proverbs those are meaningful to me.
If it's not one thing it's another
As you make your bed, so must you lie on it
Every cloud has a silver lining


I have a secret that I want tell you. It can be said as bad experience but it was beneficial to me. It taught me much about what is meaning of life. I kept it in my heart for a long period about 5 years. It happened when I was in form 1. Actually, I am shy to tell this story because it regarding my self-respect but I think the story happened in previous year and it can be example for anyone especially for those face a same problem with me.

It began with I got 4 A’s 1 B in UPSR 2003 exam. Even it was not good as 5 A’s but I thanked to Allah because He give me chance to get better lesson. So, my parents suggested to send me to religion school because they want their children learn much about Islam and gain . I was excited to learn there and Alhamdulillah I got a bargain from Jabatan Pendidikan Negeri (JPN) to continue my study at Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Agama Slim River (SMKASR).

The school was not far from my house about 5 kilometers from my house. So, it was easier to my parents to visit me and come if there is any problems. For 1st day I registered there, I feel so sad because I had to separate with my family especially my parents. When my parents went back to home after settle down my registration, I cried and cried and cried. Maybe I was the eldest in my siblings and this was the first time to separate with parents made me so sad.

About every day I cried for 1 month and made me think many bad thinks to get out from the school. I cannot adapt myself with the school condition. At that time, I did not think about my future, others feeling, friends or something else…..I just thought that I want to go back to home and want to stay at home. I did not know how to think well and with maturity…And one day, I took one foolish action. I go back to home with warden permission with reason that I was fever and want to go to clinic but I had used my friend’s outing permission card.

After I went to clinic for checking, doctor gave me medication certificate for two days..waah!! That was a chance for me to stay at home even for two days. I got back and I tell my mother that I did not want to go back to school because I got the certificate. I insisted to stay at home even my mother scolded me to go back to school. I went to home illegally with outing permission card and without my going back home permission card. At the same time, my friends tried to find me at hostel because my roommate did not find me on that day. Therefore, they decided to tell to hostel warden and after warden interrogated the condition. They knew that I went back to home without permission card. I did not go to school for learning and I miss many classes. That was one problem. However, if I come back to school and I will be scold by my teachers. This means, “If it's not one thing it's another”.

When I came back to hostel, I faced with discipline mistake. This called as “As you make your bed, so must you lie on it”. I did not know want to do and I did not know that will be a big problem. I had to face it even I felt scare and terrible because I must to face with discipline teacher, counseling teacher and the most important was “guru hal ehwal murid”…I did not know that my parents called to school to face with my school principal. That time was very very unlucky and bad to me. But what can I do, I had to bear it even it was too hurt……

For three months I was always advised by my parents, every week they visit me to support me to study there and in three months I changed to good behavior…alhamdulillah..and I can accept my fate to study there ….and I began think as a matured teen. Since the case, my mother and father always performed “solat hajat” to seek directory and guidance from Allah…my mother told me that she had a dream that one old man came to her and told her that one day I will get success at the end learning at the school….

I think the case will be the most remembered memory in my life because it had taught me many things. As man had said that, “Every cloud has a silver lining”. Until now, I still make the story as guidance for me to study hard to get the best in my academic..insya-Allah…amin…and...alhamdulillah, I got 8 A’s in PMR 2006 exam and 8 A’s too in SPM 2008 exam…I believe that any disaster or failure come to us, there must be reason for us. Allah had said in Al-QURAN IN SURAH AL-BAQARAH (“ayat” 216) that it means “sesuatu yang baik itu adalah sesuatu yang buruk bagiku..sesuatu yang buruk bagiku adalah yang baik bagiku..jika Allah menghalang kerana Allah yang mengetahui segala sesuatu sama ada di langit atau di bumi atau yang ghaib atau yang zahir”… I am sorry because I do not know the meanings in English. I am afraid to give the meanings in English because I am afraid I will give wrong meaning, word, or sentence.

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