Monday, 17 September 2007

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place your comments on sample essays

1. Homesick
2. Jakarta Trip

14 comments:

strawberry shortcake said...

what a NICE essay. i love reading it. the writer seemed to be enjoying her essay as well as she enjoyed the trip. well-organised, much details and well-elaborated- all makes the essay interesting. despite some tiny grammatical errors, the essay is still attractive. congrats!

kucing_red said...

hurm i like both essays...the writer of the homesick used many bombastic word...congrates... for the writer of jakarta trip, the story is very detail.even i never go to indonesia,i can feel how the writer's journey...well done

strawberry shortcake said...

i would like to comment on the essay entitled 'homesick'. the essay is lack of elaboration. in addition it has less details although it is quite interesting. well, the story should be written in more details to make it more and more interesting. overall, i was bewildered with the bombastic words used (get into the basket carry yourself). a good essay. oh, so much i'd babbled!

U13 said...

Jakarta.
Nice long essay.I can feel the excitment and enjoyment of the writer.I wish I can go there after reading the essay.

Homesick.
The writer use many bombastic words.I enjoy reading the essay.Moreover,I have a serious homesickness too.

veil girl said...

both the essay are good but i like the jakarta one because that's a new information for me and i can feel the air of jakarta..the structure is very organise which i can understand what the message the writer tried to express.

filibuster said...

i like 'homesick'..the story flow beautifully and the language used is very good...
but..doesn't the 2nd paragraph look familiar??..think i've read it somewhere...hurm..

'jakarta trip'- very informative..thanx for the precious info!! but..i think the story is somehow a bit dragging..

tariq_ziad said...

when it comes to vocabulary and sentence's sequence...i think 'home sick' is better...

but still i prefer 'jakarta' as it because as i read through the essay ithe feeling of 'going on-to-the next -paragraph' is there

honestly, both essay are excellent..

L-kun said...

I like Jakarta Trip essay because it was well-organized essay...the writer wrote every details and made the reader felt the excitement too!

syahid said...

jakarta
i love the essay. as i also joined the trip, it make me reflash back the exciting and adventures we had gone through... especially in 'kereta'.

Anonymous said...

i really admire this writer(jakarta)...hee...

andromeda said...

I like both essays especially about Indonesia..I enjoy reading it..very interesting..well done.!!!

seera said...

i like the essay about jakarta because this essay attrack me to go to the jakarta and this essay lots of information..although i never go to the jakarta but i can feel the atmosphere of the jakarta through this essay...
cayyokkk...

vochelle said...

both essay is good but i like jakarta most..i really enjoy her trip to jakarta..her elaboration is clear.well done..i hope i can go to jakarta nex time to feel her experiance..

Anonymous said...

long tym no c...