place your comments on sample essays
1. Homesick
2. Jakarta Trip
A little bit of something to push yourself
Having watched this on AStro's History Channel triggered me to share his determination to all. May it influence you in one way or anoth...
14 comments:
what a NICE essay. i love reading it. the writer seemed to be enjoying her essay as well as she enjoyed the trip. well-organised, much details and well-elaborated- all makes the essay interesting. despite some tiny grammatical errors, the essay is still attractive. congrats!
hurm i like both essays...the writer of the homesick used many bombastic word...congrates... for the writer of jakarta trip, the story is very detail.even i never go to indonesia,i can feel how the writer's journey...well done
i would like to comment on the essay entitled 'homesick'. the essay is lack of elaboration. in addition it has less details although it is quite interesting. well, the story should be written in more details to make it more and more interesting. overall, i was bewildered with the bombastic words used (get into the basket carry yourself). a good essay. oh, so much i'd babbled!
Jakarta.
Nice long essay.I can feel the excitment and enjoyment of the writer.I wish I can go there after reading the essay.
Homesick.
The writer use many bombastic words.I enjoy reading the essay.Moreover,I have a serious homesickness too.
both the essay are good but i like the jakarta one because that's a new information for me and i can feel the air of jakarta..the structure is very organise which i can understand what the message the writer tried to express.
i like 'homesick'..the story flow beautifully and the language used is very good...
but..doesn't the 2nd paragraph look familiar??..think i've read it somewhere...hurm..
'jakarta trip'- very informative..thanx for the precious info!! but..i think the story is somehow a bit dragging..
when it comes to vocabulary and sentence's sequence...i think 'home sick' is better...
but still i prefer 'jakarta' as it because as i read through the essay ithe feeling of 'going on-to-the next -paragraph' is there
honestly, both essay are excellent..
I like Jakarta Trip essay because it was well-organized essay...the writer wrote every details and made the reader felt the excitement too!
jakarta
i love the essay. as i also joined the trip, it make me reflash back the exciting and adventures we had gone through... especially in 'kereta'.
i really admire this writer(jakarta)...hee...
I like both essays especially about Indonesia..I enjoy reading it..very interesting..well done.!!!
i like the essay about jakarta because this essay attrack me to go to the jakarta and this essay lots of information..although i never go to the jakarta but i can feel the atmosphere of the jakarta through this essay...
cayyokkk...
both essay is good but i like jakarta most..i really enjoy her trip to jakarta..her elaboration is clear.well done..i hope i can go to jakarta nex time to feel her experiance..
long tym no c...
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